Epic Party
by TornAngelWings
Summary: SOLDIER parties are the best, especially with a dancing Zack and a creepy Kunsel. Crackfic.


Today was one of those days. Sephiroth woke up with the feeling that he shouldn't get out of bed. Faking a sick day would only summon Professor Hojo, which was far worse then actually going to work, so he decided against the idea. After getting dressed in his usual clothes and running a brush through his gorgeous locks, the Silver General was on his way to his private office.

Immediately after finding Zack Fair whistling in front of his office, he should have gone back to his apartment. But, his curiosity got the better of him, so he proceeded to walk past the Puppy into his office. "What do you need Zackary?" He inquired in a bored tone after taking a seat in his shiny black leather chair.

"Good Morning Seph!" the very awake Zack practically shouted, completely oblivious to Sephiroth's glare. Sephiroth half expected him to announce "today is beautiful!" and throw flower petals around while skipping in a circle."I finally convinced Angeal to let me have that party I wanted to throw! So, I am inviting you and…Genesis, so he won't be lonely! You don't have to bring anything or wear anything special. It'll only be a few hours long." Zack said all this in one breath before inhaling rapidly. "And do you wanna know the best part?!"

Sephiroth muttered a low "no, but I'm sure you'll tell me anyway…" under his breath and Zack screamed "It's a karaoke party!!" he pumped his fists in the air and chanted a deep "yeah!" then grinned innocently at the un-amused Sephiroth. "So? You are coming right?" he asked like there was _no _chance in the world _anyone _ wouldn't _want _to come to his "epic" party.

"Sure of course I'll come to your hoedown." Sephiroth said with a cheery smile. Well, no, I'm lying. He got up silently out of his chair, pushed the overgrown Puppy out of his office, bluntly said "No.", and slammed the door in his face. But Zack didn't give up hope! He would convince Sephiroth to go if it was the last thing he did.

X---

"Hey Zack." Kunsel said, rather creepily. Because Kunsel is a creepy person, stalking everyone like that, but that's another story.

"O-oh! Hi Kunsel! You ready to par-tay?" Zack asked, looking up from the paper he was currently coloring with a box of crayons.

"I'm always ready." Creepy much? Kunsel grinned. He looked at the sheet of paper. "What's this?"

"My uber awesome plan!" Zack said, holding up a poorly drawn picture.

"Ah. I see. This one is in color too."

"Oh yeah! See! I'm going to convince Sephiroth to come to the party tonight using this piece of paper and my ninja-SOLDIER skillizzles. Word to your mom." Zack peace out-ed and gather his stuff.

"Or you could just tell him there will be free food. He'd probably come."

"But that would be too easy!" Zack whined. He stomped his foot like a two year old, then laughed at his own childish actions. "See ya tonight buddy!"

So Zack embarked on an epic journey to convince the stoic man to come to what would be the awesomest party in SOLDIER party history. He stumbled upon his target after rolling through his door whistling "Mission Impossible". "Sephiroth! You should be getting ready to come to my party! There will be free food~" Zack waved the picture he drew in the man's face.

Sephiroth snatched it away and stared at it. "Is this a Chocobo?"

"Nah! It's Cloud! But that's beside the point! I'll have tostadas on the party tray!!" he begged, literally on his knees.

"…fine. If it gets you out and away from my office, I will come to your…party." Sephiroth said, distaste coloring his tone.

"YEAH!!" Zack double-fist punched the air and started doing some sort of disco out the door.

X---

Sephiroth arrived at 7:00 and knocked on Zack's door. He could already hear the music blaring. Angeal opened the door and his eyes widened in surprise. "Seph? You actually came?"

Sephiroth felt a little embarrassed. "I told Zackary I would."

Genesis cackled when he opened the door wider. "That's what Zack told Angeal, but I thought you actually wouldn't show." He gestured with his red-clad hand and grinned mockingly. "Come on in."

Sephiroth mustered his dignity and strode in. Zack had created a make-shift stage and he and Kunsel were currently doing some exotic dace to the music that was playing. Microphones pressed to their lips they began:

Risin' up, back on the street  
Did my time, took my chances  
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet  
Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast  
You change your passion for glory  
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past  
You must fight just to keep them alive

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight  
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival  
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night  
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat  
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry  
They stack the odds 'til we take to the street  
For we kill with the skill to survive

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight  
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival  
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night  
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Risin' up, straight to the top  
Have the guts, got the glory  
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop  
Just a man and his will to survive

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight  
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival  
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night  
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

The eye of the tiger!

All the while they were doing some sort of disco, break-dance, mini-rave thing. They didn't sound horrible, but their dancing needed improvement, Sephiroth thought, raising an eyebrow to his colleges beside him.

Genesis was trying not to laugh, holding his gloved hand to his lips to muffle the sound. Angeal was chuckling himself. "Brava! Encore, Encore!" Genesis clapped, his lips twitching up to a smile before he had to muffle his laughter again.

Zack grinned. "Hey! I think the First Class SOLDIERs should sing and dance for us! What do ya say!?" he held out the microphone to the mini crowd, and they all scream "YEAH!!"

Sephiroth, Genesis, and Angeal simultaneously barked "No!"

"Awww! C'mon!! I'll pick a good song for you!" Zack whined.

"…What song?" Angeal asked, holding his head.

"Barbie Girl!" What happened next was pretty gruesome, so you should just know that Zack was on leave for injuries for the next week. But, sadly for Sephiroth, he recovered.

X---

"Good Morning Seph! I'm throwing Kunsel a birthday party and you're invited!!" Zack sang, skipping around. He was thrown out of the office.

**I know what you are thinking. No, I was not on crack and if I was I wouldn't give you a piece. Gosh, people these days. :)**

**I don't own the Final Fantasy VII franchise or "Eye of the Tiger". R&R!**


End file.
